1+ week, 4+ day ago   (723+ words) THE sardonic, frequently costumed cat from Sabrina the Teenage Witch is still your unattainable ideal even today. Along with these niche crushes: It was between her, Winnie in The Wonder Years and Topanga from Boy Meets World for anyone unlucky…...

2+ week, 2+ day ago   (660+ words) TICKETS to see Bob Dylan have been dynamically priced in correlation with his life expectancy. These musicians also use the spectre of their imminent loss to jack up the price: Nobody knows what Bob Dylan is singing, including Bob Dylan....

2+ week, 2+ day ago   (359+ words) A GAMING franchise centred on enacting criminal violence against innocents seems to be so beautiful it could heal the world, fans believe. Following a gameplay reveal for Grand Theft Auto VI on Thursday, gamers are confident that when the full…...

2+ week, 4+ day ago   (523+ words) THE BBC is rebooting Top Gear and of course, like everything else that damned corporation produces, it will be hideously wokified. Miserable white man Roy Hobbs imagines the presenting shortlist: In the 21st century, even Top Gear viewers have accepted that…...

2+ week, 4+ day ago   (535+ words) THE men who spent an entire decade joking about, and thinking about, Dolly Parton’s spectacular bosom are also mourning her today. While their grief is making few headlines, a whole generation for whom Parton was the go-to reference for larger-chested…...

2+ week, 5+ day ago   (360+ words) ACTOR and left-wing idol Miriam Margolyes has replaced JK Rowling as the writer of the Harry Potter series, following online backlash. Margolyes, who is gay, impeccably left-wing and says the C-word on chat shows, is thought to be a much…...

2+ week, 6+ day ago   (515+ words) HARRY and Meghan are thought to be reeling in shock after their whole return to Britain was shattered by a picture of beautiful Kate smiling delightedly. The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are rethinking their entire plan to ingratiate themselves…...

3+ week, 2+ day ago   (544+ words) A man who emerged from the bathroom ready for intercourse is pretending he did not wash his horrible knob in his girlfriend’s lovely sink. Worried that the disgusting truth will ruin his chances of getting his end away, Tom Logan…...

3+ week, 2+ day ago   (198+ words) THE Duke of Sussex is going to try and waltz back into the Royal family by pretending the last six years did not happen. Aware that his return to the UK will be shrouded in scandal, Harry has decided to…...

3+ week, 2+ day ago   (383+ words) THE Duchess of Sussex has announced she has been offered a major role in the soap opera EastEnders. Meghan, forced back to the UK by her husband, believes if she is going to be in every tabloid and gossip magazine…...