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SUMMER is approaching, and with it music festivals booking legacy acts for lazy nostalgia draws. These acts will stretch out their 15 minutes of fame for an excruciating 40. AN office worker is struggling to remember how to look busy while accomplishing nothing after four days of total leisure. THE world is mourning Po
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News
Working-class private school created for children of Labour MPs
1+ week, 4+ day ago (311+ words) LABOUR MPs have founded a private school themed around the working classes so their children can grow up knowing hardship, but safely. St Tommy of the Fury’s will be the first fee-paying school with downwardly mobile aspirations, where children are…...
Man forced to confront own horniness by age verification check
2+ week, 4+ day ago (425+ words) THE abyss of an age verification check has gazed back at a man preparing to prove he is old enough to access pornography. Before accessing the finest free smut the internet has to offer, aspiring masturbator Tom Booker must first…...
Foolish undergraduate taking course that only enriches her spirit
2+ week, 5+ day ago (580+ words) A NAIVE 18-year-old has decided to take a degree that will do nothing but deepen her understanding of the world and appreciation of the human experience. Lucy Parry has condemned herself to a lifetime in debt by choosing a course…...
1 the same as A*, teen tells parents
3+ week, 3+ day ago (207+ words) Jack Browne, aged 16, did no work for his GCSEs but has spent the last ten weeks schooling his mum and dad to believe that the lower a number is, the higher the grade. He said: “Unfortunately I couldn’t work for…...
Teacher doesn't give a toss what ex-pupil doing now
3+ week, 4+ day ago (549+ words) A secondary school teacher could not care less what some kid they taught 20 years ago is up to these days. Upon being approached by a former pupil while doing the big shop, history teacher Martin Bishop made it clear he…...